I have a passion for adoption. I love my kids. I love Yeshua. I am so blessed to share life's path with my best friend and soul mate. I believe in homeschooling. I love to read, write, watch movies, walk with my kids, hang out with my dogs, take photographs, and travel (hey, I said I love to do it, not that I get to very often!)
I've wanted to see Meet the Robinsons since it came out. For one reason or another, I never got to. A few months ago, I brought up to hubby the possibility of buying it and watching as a family. Once I told him the plot, he shut me down in a hurry. He was afraid a plot line involving a child desperate to meet his birthmom--the only person who ever really loved him--would be detrimental to our kids healing and attachment. I probably should have listened to him about these minor details, but I didn't want to raise my kids in a bubble (despite their traumatic past) blah, blah, blah. Sigh.
Our library offers a free movie on Thursday afternoons. They have a projector, the kids bring pillows and blankets, and everyone settles in to watch a movie. We'd never been before, and I saw that they were playing Meet the Robinsons today. I asked the kids what they thought. I mentioned the part of the movie that might bring up sad feelings for them. They both told me they had seen the movie before, that it wouldn't bother them...oh, and hubby wasn't here to run it by. So, feeling ÜBER confident in my amazingly thoughtful parenting skills, I blithely packed up both kiddos and head out to Meet the Robinsons.
First of all, I loved the movie. It was fantastic. The kids enjoyed it immensely...except for the very last scene, when he is in a car headed to his new home with his new family. My daughter lost it. Huge wracking sobs. She threw herself at me and just sobbed. Everyone in the room (100 or so people) turned to look at us, so I led her out of the room to the hall. In the hall, she continued gasping and sobbing and telling me how the end of the movie reminded her of one of her more traumatic moves (she moved to a number of different homes before joining our family, but this particular one is the one she always seems most disturbed by) and it filled her with sadness. Motherhood fail.
In that moment, my heart felt crushed. The sadness that enveloped me made it difficult to breathe. Then like a baseball between the eyes, it hit me that the proverb "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child." is so incredibly true. My happiness is completely tied into that of my children's. Your life is so incredibly altered when you enter into parenthood. Not that that's bad. Romans 12:15 reminds us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." --in parenthood you have many opportunities to live this out.
When my son is struggling with depression, and that cloud of depression envelopes me, or when my children are in pain from past trauma, and my heart breaks, this emotional tie parents have with their children may seem like it has a lot of pitfalls, but there are rewards too--because their happiness is that much sweeter to me. When their hearts sing, mine soars. I just have to remember that in hard times when my heart shatters from their pain.