Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Recently the birthmother of one of my children turned 30. I thought of her all day on her birthday. Just 6 weeks before her special day, I turned 30 myself. 30 is a big age for reflection on your life. My thoughts turned to my accomplishments, my failures, my children, my relationship with God, my life's goals. I had a really wonderful birthday too; everyone in my life made it very special. I wonder what her day was like. Did anyone make it special for her? Did she think of her firstborn? Did she ponder her life? Did she have regrets or hopes or dreams for the future? I can't help but compare. Two women born 6 weeks apart in the United States. One born into a stable family and given many opportunities for success. The other never given a chance in life. I know enough of her life to know from her earliest memories, she did not have any kind of stability in life. These two women, so different in many ways, have one of the greatest commonalities possible: we both call the same child "daughter." Her firstborn, my first child. On her birthday, I said to my hubby, "X turns 30 today. I wonder what she's doing to celebrate her life." Hubby said "Honey, her life is so different from yours. The life she leads isn't one easily lent to reflection and celebration." I know he's right. I know she lives day to day surviving. I hope though, that despite many of the desperate circumstances that rule her life, that she thought of her firstborn. I hope she thought of her with affection, and I hope she knows that she's happy.